


Catching Legends (or Why Jack Should Have Gone to Freeze the Toothpaste)

by RecordRewind



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Gen, Humor, big bang challenge: lightning round
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 04:31:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/718918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecordRewind/pseuds/RecordRewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Comedy, AU. Jamie Bennett believes in fairytales. He also would love to catch his favorite legends, for science of course. But when he decides to try and catch Pitch Black himself things get very troublesome very fast, he ends poking something even more dangerous than the Bogeyman, and an unexpected team up might be in order to save the day...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catching Legends (or Why Jack Should Have Gone to Freeze the Toothpaste)

**Author's Note:**

> For the RotG Big Bang: Lightning Round. The beautiful companion piece of art made by [Taiyari](http://taiyari.tumblr.com/) is both [here](http://taiyari.tumblr.com/post/45256994548/catching-legends-or-why-jack-should-have-gone-to) and inserted in the body of the fic.

Jamie Bennett was a true believer in the supernatural, one could say. His faith in the existence of Santa Claus, of the Easter Bunny, of Mother Goose and of the Tooth Fairy was firm, it was steely, it was titanium-strong, unbreakable. If a professional league for believers existed, he would have torn any competition apart and still have belief to spare about dragons, mermaids, garden gnomes, and yetis, abominable or not.  
  
There was only one thing stronger than his believing in those beloved childhood myths, and that was the adamant conviction he would eventually catch one of them. With the purpose of showing them to his mother so she would be persuaded of their reality too, and possibly for science. Science was always a good motivation.  
  
So, he booby-trapped their chimney with firecrackers last Christmas (luckily his mother never lit it up), he tried to train his dog to follow the trace of his Easter Bunny plush and he dug holes in the garden from late February to early May, and he put the last three teeth he lost in increasingly complicated snares, comprising tape, mirrors, a butterfly net connected to a system of springs and weights, and a brick (he was sure fairies were immortal, too. That “Pressed Fairies Book” his aunt bought him for his eighth birthday was clearly either a ruse or a gross exaggeration).  
  
Jamie never managed to catch anything, but he succeeded in creating himself a reputation. So, one wouldn't have been too surprised to see a Mini-Tooth Fairy, answering to the name of Baby Tooth (Baby Tooth the Three Hundred Forty Fifth, to be more exact. Tooth was never very good with names, especially after passing the mark of one thousand little helpers. But at least she tried) fluttering somehow apprehensively before his window, that night, clearly not keen on entering it too fast. One would have thought that was quite reasonable of the fairy.  
  
Jack Frost agreed in earnest with that metaphorical judge. The spirit of cold had spent the last fifteen minutes sitting on the edge of the roof, his feet hanging right over the window, waiting for the fairy to decide what was the best course of action and suggesting some alternatives, like for example give up on the tooth altogether and go do something a little less life-threatening (Jamie did indeed overestimate the fairies' survival skills, but it was a honest mistake), like freezing toothpaste or something.  
  
“I still don't understand why don't you go ask Tooth to take care of this herself,” he pointed out.  
  
Baby Tooth flew right in front of his face, shaking a tiny fist, then she bumped it on her chest.  
  
“...you have your pride?”  
  
Fierce nod.  
  
“...but he might have prepared anything in that room, and so you're stuck here.”  
  
Baby Tooth deflated.  
  
She looked miserable enough, a little ball of green feathers and gloom. Jack pondered, then he shrugged. “Hey, listen to this. I can go in and check for traps myself, and if it's clean I'll give you the ok, you get the tooth and we clear off. He can't see me, so I'll be safe.”  
  
The fairy looked unconvinced. This felt a lot like cheating, her tooth fairy honor didn't sit too well with accepting external aids...  
  
“We can make a deal. I help you this one time, and the next time North throws a party at the Pole you help me sneak past the yetis. So you aren't in debt. What do you say?”  
  
Baby Tooth thought it up, conflicted, her sense of duty and and her sense of self-preservation battling in her head. She finally reached a conclusion and held out her hand. Jack gingerly touched it with his little finger, then he pushed the window open and entered the room of the most feared human kid in the world.  
  
He gave a look around, immediately noticing the first problem. Jamie wasn't asleep. He was sitting on the bed, the patchwork blanket pulled over him like a tent, the gleam of a flashlight filtering out.  
  
Jack saw that Jamie's tooth had been placed on the bedside table, no strings, or threads, or other visible signs of traps connected to it. He was about to signal Baby Tooth to come in and snatch it, when he heard muffled voices coming from under the blanket. Curious, Jack leaned closer and listened.  
  
“Ok, this is phase one...” A giggle. “Hush, Sophie, this is important!” Jamie coughed. “I said, this is phase one, attempting to lure the Bogeyman. Classic method.”  
  
The shapes under the blanket rustled. A bared foot peeked out from its border, the toes just hanging past the edge of the mattress. Jack squatted next to the bed and looked at the foot, amused. So the little Bennett was hunting the Bogeyman himself, this time? The little one had grand ambitions!  
  
Ignoring Baby Tooth flailing her arms behind the glass, trying to remind him of the task at hand, Jack waited a little more, and then he breathed cold air on Jamie's toes. The boy pulled his foot under the blanket at the speed of light, then he threw covers and sheets up and frantically moved the flashlight around the room, eyes wide. Next to him, a little girl in green and pink pyjamas sat up and looked around. It had to be his sister, Jack remembered that Jamie had tried to use her as bait to catch an alligator in Burgess sewers, six months ago. Now it looked like she had been promoted to willful and eager partner in crime.  
  
“There was something! I bet it was the Bogeyman, Sophie!” The boy looked more excited than scared, and it made Jack chuckle. If Pitch Black had been there, he would have been way annoyed at the kid's reaction! Jamie looked under the bed, then again around the room, a little disappointed.  
  
“Ok. Sophie. We must proceed to phase two.” Jamie assumed a determined expression. He stood up, pulled some thick socks with rubber pads on the underside from a drawer and put them on, and grabbed a bright orange fanny pack that he must have prepared before and clasped it around his waist. Then he picked up the sheet, tied one end on the fanny pack belt and gave the other to Sophie, who held it tight. Finally, much to Jack's amusement, he took the flashlight in one hand and the butterfly net in the other.  
  
Jamie looked solemnly at Sophie.  
  
“You remember what I told you?”  
  
Sophie nodded. Jamie stared expectantly. When she said nothing he sighed. “You must never let go of this, because otherwise I might fall in the Bogeyman's lair and never ever ever ever come back. Ok?”  
  
“Ok.”  
  
“Good.” Jamie turned on a little night light, shaped like a duck, for his sister. He took a long breath, and then he laid down on his belly and crawled under the bed. Sophie peeked from over its edge, holding the sheet like her life depended on it.  
  
Jamie disappeared in the dark space under the bed. Jack shook his head. Kids these days... it looked like there was nobody left trying to break their neck climbing trees, or poking hornet's nests, those harmless pastimes so common in his time...  
  
Suddenly the flashlight went off and the room was lit only by the feeble colored gleam of the night light. Sophie's grip on the sheet tightened even more, and she stared around with her eyes wide.  
  
Jack looked at the little girl with some concern. It wasn't his business, but Jamie shouldn't be scaring his little sister like that... and what was he doing under the bed, anyway? Jack knelt down and had a look.  
  
There was a dark hole under the bed, and no trace of Jamie.  


\--

For a long moment Jack could only stare at the hole. Then he backed and stood up. And he said something for which he should have been grateful children couldn't hear him.  
  
He turned to the window and met Baby Tooth confused gaze.  
  
“...he's fallen into Pitch Black's lair.” he said.  
  
It was Baby Tooth's turn to stare, mouth agape. Jack raised his hands helplessly, then he ran them through his hair. A child had just disappeared into Pitch Black's lair right under his nose. This was not good. If good was a planet, this wasn't even in the same solar system. This was the black hole of not good.  
  
“North will NEVER invite me to one of his parties...” He whined.  
  
Behind his back Sophie called Jamie, in a tiny voice. Jack turned to look at her. The little girl seemed on the verge of bursting in tears. She started to pull the sheet. Oh no, if she realized her brother had disappeared...  
  
Baby Tooth flew into the room, right in front of Sophie, who stared at the fairy, her mouth opening in a little “o”. Baby Tooth chirped, the epitome of adorableness  
  
“...cute!” Sophie said, tears forgotten, and she reached to touch her feathers.  
  
Jack smiled gratefully at the fairy.  
  
“Ok, give me one moment...”  
  
He ran out of the window and up the roof, and, as he hoped, he saw that the night sky was criss-crossed by the web of dreamsand. The Sandman was already busy. Well, dreams tonight had to wait. Jack jumped from a whirl of wind to the other and landed on the balcony of the closest house, where a delicate tendril of golden sand was about to sneak into the room of a child, to bring them some lovely dream.  
  
Jack grabbed the tendril and squeezed it. A little dinosaur popped out from it, confused. Jack grabbed it by the scruff and stared into its eyes.  
  
“You now go back to Sandy and tell him to come here. It's an emergency! A kid fell into the Nighmare King's lair level of emergency! Got it?”  
  
The dinosaur nodded, warily, and Jack, deciding there was no time to lose, threw it in the air and hit it with his staff like a baseball player, sending it back in a long trajectory in the vague direction of the dreamsand source.  
  
Jack turned and flew back into Jamie's room, where Sophie looked still enamored with the fairy.  
  
“Help is coming, I'm going under!” he shouted without missing a beat as he dived under the bed and, before his brain could catch up with everything that was happening and try to stop him, into the hole.  
  
Baby Tooth stared at the bed, her hands in her head feathers. What a mess!  


–-

The Sandman was happily, slowly, drowsily weaving dreams from his golden zeppelin in the sky (and if you think that alone is over the top, just wait to see the interior decoration), when a frightened sand dinosaur hit him on the back of his head. A moment later, all traces of peaceful somnolence were wiped from his round face.  


\--

Jamie opened his eyes.  
  
He was in a small room, the walls made of grey stone and the floor dark marble, feeling cold even through the thick socks. He had lost both his flashlight and the net somewhere, but the room was filled with a feeble, silvery light. Somehow, the sheet held, apparently extending way longer than it should have.  
  
“...hey? Is anybody here?” He called out.  
  
Only a far away rustle answered him, the muffled sound of hooves, something like laughter. Jamie turned around to check the room, counted seven walls, and saw there was a door on the last one of them (which should have been the one he was facing at the beginning, logic would dictate, but he didn't pay attention to that. Jamie seldom paid attention to logic whenever its results were inconvenient, his school teacher never ceased to mention that to his mum). He looked up. There was no ceiling that he could see, only a black expanse. He had thought he was falling at first, and then suddenly he had found himself standing there. The place was creepy, frightful even. There was no doubt, this had to be the Bogeyman's house.  
  
He made a little fist pump. Success! He knew his plan would work! He probably couldn't catch the Bogeyman anymore, without the light and the net, but he could get some proof and then get out. He rummaged into his bag and took out his mother's digital camera, then he moved to the door and pushed it. It opened without resistance, and inside it there was a long corridor. Jamie examined it, then glanced back at the room. Well, he couldn't climb those walls, if there was a way out it definitely wasn't in the room... so Jamie walked down the corridor. The door closed behind his back, its sharp edge ripping the sheet.  


\--

Pitch Black wasn't such a nasty fellow, if you asked Jack Frost. Sure, he loved to scare children, and he had this habit of coming up against the Guardians every ten, twelve years or so, getting defeated every single time. And whenever he saw Jack he tried to convince him to side with him by monologuing about dark and cold and probably something else (Jack always stopped listening after five minutes), so that they could rule over a dark and cold world (yeah, he tended to get a bit repetitive), which in Jack's opinion wouldn't have been fun at all.  
  
But apart from that he struck Jack as just an old, lonely guy who needed some company. Beside, he never got invited to North's parties either, so the two of them often ended spending New Year's Eve together. He made a decent punch, if a little bitter.  
  
The part about frightening children was pretty much his thing, anyway, and Jack wasn't sure he wanted to find out what could happen to a kid who wandered alone into his lair. So he fretted down the hole, following the elongated sheet and stopping only to place some ice beams across the tunnel's walls, just to be sure to have a way out.  
  
He finally reached the bottom and found himself in a room with too many angles for its own good. He knew how the place worked, and he expected to have to wait before an exit would appear wherever he wasn't looking. Instead, he saw there was a door already, the white sheet caught into it. He opened it, and a sudden wind rose, and pulled the sheet away.  


–-

In Jamie's room, Sophie had just fallen asleep, thanks to a little cloud of dreamsand. The sheet was pulled from her hands, but before it could be dragged under the bed Sandy grabbed it and handed it to Baby Tooth. Then he glared at the bed, laid down on his belly, and elegantly rolled under it.  
  
Baby Tooth stared at the tooth on the night stand, longingly, and wondered why she hadn't chosen the teeth-collecting shift in Malaysia, that evening.  


\--

Jamie had already taken fifty-two pictures, and was a little disappointed he still hadn't seen any Bogeyman around, when he heard the voice calling him. Or doing a vague whisper that could sound as “Jamie”, just like “Henry”, and possibly also “Virginia”. He wanted to be as cooperative as possible, so he followed the sound anyway, until he found himself in front of another door. It was huge, heavy, and designed to emanate a “DO NOT OPEN” message even without explicit signs.  
  
Jamie, who had signed himself up for the role of the kid who every horror movie spectator only wished to see walk right into the arms of the zombies, opened it at once. His expression was amazed for a moment, and then a little part of his brain, the part that usually got shunned and ignored at the meetings between all the other brain parts, that was left on an uncomfortable seat in corner nursing a cold coffee while the other parts went on and on about their fabulous ideas, well, that part raised a finger and said “Told you this wasn't a good idea, after all.”  
  
It had waited a long time for that moment.  
  
Jamie screamed.  


\--

Jack walked through corridors and up and down convoluted stairs, holding his staff out. He didn't know if Pitch was there, but he figured out it was better to avoid stumbling right into--  
  
“Hello Jack, what brings you here?”  
  
Jack almost shrieked. He spun around to face the tall and pale shape stepping out from the shadow, a coat of darkness clinging to his shoulders. Pitch looked at the ice spirit with one non-eyebrow raised. Jack let out a nervous laugh.  
  
“Hi Pitch. Uhm, how do you do?”  
  
“Fine enough. Again, to what do I owe the pleasure?”  
  
“Uh... I was hanging around, figured I could stop by, say hi, ask you if you found anything weird around the place...?”  
  
“Like uninvited guests?”  
  
“Pretty much, yes.” Jack kept on casting glances around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jamie. What could he do when he found him, since he couldn't even pick him up, he had no idea. Why wasn't Sandy there already?!  
  
“Only the one standing right in front of me. How did you sneak in?”  
  
“Well, you kind of left the backdoor open...”  
  
“I don't have a backdoor.”  
  
“Figuratively speaking.”  
  
“Jack, what--” Pitch stopped. He blinked, and then his expression hardened. “...who have you brought with you?”  
  
“I haven't...”  
  
A golden light filled the hall, bravely fighting against the shadows trying to stifle it. Pitch and Jack turned to see the Sandman walking forward with a stern expression on his usually soft features. He looked like a can of compressed short-temper. Both Jack and the Bogeyman almost stepped back, then Pitch remembered they were uninvited guests into his own home, and called all the indignation he could muster. The looming shapes of his nightmares gathered behind his back, puffing and pawing.  
  
“How you dare come face me here?! How did you enter?”  
  
“You left the backdoor open...” mumbled Jack, and Pitch gestured him to shut up.  
  
Sandy stopped right in front of Pitch, sand collecting over his head in flickering shapes. A figurine resembling the Bogeyman appeared, seemed to lunge at the tiny images of some children, throw them in a sack and disappear (head thrown back in a fitting evil laugh).  
  
Pitch watched the pantomine, bemused.  
  
“What are you insinuating?!” he exclaimed, offended. “I haven't kidnapped a single kid in the past two hundreds and seventy-five years! Parents aren't even serious anymore when they threaten children with me taking them away if they don't eat their dinner...”  
  
As they quarreled, Jack felt a prickle up his spine. He cast a look around, searching for the origin of the uncomfortable sensation, and noticed that some nightmares looked nervous too, they paced back and forth and their nostrils flared. Something was wrong...  
  
A loud, high-pitched scream filled the air. Pitch stopped talking and Sandy let the sand over his head dissolve, as they both turned to look at the far side of the hall. Jack backed till he was standing between them.  
  
“What was--”  
  
The wall seemed to burst out in fragments of shadow, and a mass of shapeless jet black creatures, all fangs, claws, sharp hooves, and pointy wings trampled in. In the middle of the horde, Jack saw a glimpse of red, a pyjama, and a brown haired-head, and Jamie's huge eyes, full of fear. As the mass of creatures swooped down on them Jack lunged forward, reaching out to Jamie. His hands went through him and the next moment he was hurled to the side by the swing of a tail, or an arm, to crash against the wall. He groaned. A sudden thought crossed his head. Yes, the evening would have been way better if he had followed his original plan and gone freezing some strangers' toothpaste...  
  
Pitch and Sandy dodged the creatures, as the nightmares scattered around in panic. The two took cover next to Jack. Sandy started to point frantically at the monsters, looking at Pitch.  
  
“What the hell are those?!” Jack joined him, his voice cracking, as he pushed himself up.  
  
“They were... an experiment...” Pitch said, uncertain. “A failed experiment. I had them caged, waiting to find a good way to dispose of them. How could...” He saw the little boy, held prisoners by the shadows. “...who's that and what's he doing here?”  
  
“Backdoor open, I told you. We must save him!”  
  
“I said again and again I didn't leave any... wait, is that Jamie Bennett?”  
  
“Yes!”  
  
“Oh. Oh, that explains it all.”  
  
The monsters scattered around the hall, taking more solid shapes, a mix of real and fantastical animals, and they chased both the nightmares and the Sandman's residual golden sand, absorbing them both. The bigger one stood in the center of the room. It had now the appearance of a huge worm, with a multitude of tentacles, and his belly was a cage where Jamie was trapped. The kid had lost all his bravery and was crouching, covering his head with his arms.  
  
Pitch, Sandy and Jack squatted behind some debris.  
  
“What do you mean it explains it all?”  
  
“That boy, you must know him, his belief is strong...” Jack and Sandy nodded. “But he has no fear at all. Some days ago I was drawn to him when he spent the whole night in his wardrobe, hoping to see me... he believes in me but he doesn't fear me, which is annoying, and of course it doesn't give me power. So I went away from where I came, from under his bed.”  
  
“There was an open hole, we got here through that, and him too.”  
  
“It must be his belief, it kept the door open... something like this never happened before!”  
  
“You could have checked! He just walked in, piece of cake, and started opening cages of monsters... man, the security around this place sucks!”  
  
“Care to say that again, you little--”  
  
Sandy waved a hand and pointed his finger again at the monsters, who had absorbed all they could and were now closing on them. Quickly, Pitch brandished his scythe and cleaved at them. Next to him, Jack called all his power and froze the closest monster. Another monster lunged at them, but Sandy's whip wrapped around its neck, and it was hurled away. A new wave of monsters rose behind them.  
  
“I can't feel the kid's fear, they're feeding on it!” shouted Pitch. Soon, the three found themselves surrounded by the monsters. Jamie was kneeling, his hands grasping the bars of his cage, watching the battle with wide, teary eyes. Jack glanced at the scared kid, then at the mass of menacing shadows, then at the other two.  
  
“Come on!” He exclaimed. “It's the moment!”  
  
Sandy and Pitch looked at him.  
  
“What are you looking at? Do I have to spell it out? You need to fight together! And Pitch, if you need fear to boost you just take a look, I'm about to crap my pants!” Jack concluded in a slightly hysterical tone.  
  
For a split second it seemed like both of them were going to argue. Then all the monsters raised together and swooped over them from every direction. Pitch and Sandy exchanged a glance, then they turned back to back, Pitch raised his scythe and Sandy prepared to whip. The monsters covered them like a swarm of ants. For a long moment everything was still.  
  
The heap appeared to burst from the inside and dozens of the monsters were thrown back against the walls. In the middle of the swarm, Sandy and Pitch whirled their weapons, moving around as though following the steps of a dance, Sandy called a wave of dreamsand, and Pitch stepped on it, gathering momentum for a jump that brought him to cut a shadow monster in half. The two halves reshaped into smaller monsters, but before they could attack him they were pierced by golden arrows. Pitch picked an arrow, the sand turning black into his hand, shaped it into a spear and threw it at another monster about to attack Sandy from behind. As the monsters lost their strength, the black and golden sand rose from their remnants, turning again into nightmares and dreams, and joining the fight.  
  
  


  
At first Jack could only stare, amazed at the powerful duo, then he shook himself up and started fighting as well. He could see Jamie looking at the Bogeyman and the Sandman, the fear into his eyes being replaced by excitement, thus taking away the monsters' main source of strength. Great! The bigger monster howled in rage, its tentacles whirling around, catching some of its fellow shadows and absorbing them to get more strength. Jack ran to him and lunged with his staff, a blade of ice cutting the shadow right over the cage in his belly. Jamie stumbled out, into the soft embrace of Sandy's dreamsand that shielded him from the fall. Jack met Pitch's eyes, and the next second they launched their powers at the monster, ice and dark spinning together to pierce it. It exploded in smaller monsters, all of them quickly chased by the nightmares and the dreams. Only one, a reptilian shape with the mane of a lion, managed to escape and ran away through the debris, his instinct leading it towards the closest exit.

“It's going to the hole to Jamie's room! His sister is there!” Jack exclaimed. Pitch snickered. “Don't worry. I'll close it.” He raised his hand and snapped his fingers.

He made a puzzled expression, and he snapped his fingers again.

His expression became annoyed, as he did it again and again. Sandy, Jack, and Jamie (peeking out from the basket of sand) stared at him.

“...I can't shut it, there's something blocking it,” Pitch finally said.

Jack remembered. “Oh. My ice.”

The three of them looked at each other, and then they shot towards the way out. Jack got into the hole first and flew up, as Pitch and Sandy almost managed to get stuck. He went up and out the bed quick as a flash.

Right in time to see the monster spin on itself and fall down to the ground, knocked out, a very angry Tooth with her fist clenched behind it. On the bed, Sophie was still sleeping peacefully and Baby Tooth was sitting on her head.

“Jack!” Tooth exclaimed. “What's happening here?! Premolar twenty-two and Baby Tooth two.hundred eleven told me three hundred forty five was retiring a tooth here in the red zone, that would be the Bennett's, so I immediately came to check... what is Pitch doing here?!” She pulled out a sword and pointed it right at the nose of the Bogeyman, who had just appeared from the wardrobe (he remembered halfway through the tunnel he could travel through the shadows, and so he left Sandy to deal with the shrinking hole).

“...nice to see you too, Tooth, can you take this away from my face?” He said in a flat-tone. “I'm just here to collect the trash.” Tooth glared daggers at him but sheathed the sword, and Pitch materialized a broom and a shovel of shadows and started to sweep the remnants of the monster, that had dissolved into black sand. Sandy emerged from under the bed too.

“So, someone care to explain?” Tooth asked again. Sandy started to materialize shapes over his head, and she was forced to politely look at those, even if she never could quite follow. Next to her, Baby Tooth flew to the nightstand, picked up the tooth and put it in her bag, leaving a coin, with a satisfied sigh. Jack smiled at her. Well, mission complete!

“Hey, you make quite the team,” he said to Pitch, pointing at Sandy with his thumb. Pitch snorted. “I'm serious! I always said dark and cold are overrated... you could have a cool team name, too, something like Quicksand, or...” He stopped.

“...hey, where's Jamie?”

Everybody looked around.

“...you left him in Pitch's lair?” Tooth exclaimed. Pitch's eyes widened. “Oh, damn, he might find the Slendermen!” He ran back into the wardrobe.

“What do you mean the Slender _men_?!” The others followed him in a rush.

Sophie turned into her sleep, mumbling, and smiling.

In her dream, she was chasing, and catching, legends.  



End file.
